What is your suggestion for the shopaholic who is blind to her inner chaos? How do you help her see the light of what you say, all of which is correct. Much of the world is blind to their own biases, need to control, personal sin, hate, etc. and it is separating them from God. If her own husband feared to address it, what is your suggestion for a family friend who wants to remain one?
Although I've messed this up more times than I can count, it seems Jesus maintained a steady posture of "discerning and inviting." He practiced particularity - he saw the individual in their true heart condition and related to them at that level, slowing inviting them into a deeper experience with Him and themselves. The woman at the well, for example, accepted his ever-deepening conversation. The rich young ruler did not. So with prayerful discernment, we might observe whether the shopaholic and her husband are aware of her condition. If they are, we might gently ask if it's something they are willing to explore and go from there. If not, it's probably an indicator they just aren't ready yet to deal with her story, and for the friend to keep it a matter of prayer. Gentle questions asked with permission are a great tool, though even those should be approached with relational wisdom. Sometimes, helping someone become more attuned to their hearts isn't a matter of conversation - it's more of how they experience us over time. I've seen people with various addictive habits begin to gently become more attuned simply by being in relationship with others who are more free. It takes a lot of patience (which isn't my strong suit), though I'm very grateful God does not reveal all of my harmful patterns and distortions at once!
What is your suggestion for the shopaholic who is blind to her inner chaos? How do you help her see the light of what you say, all of which is correct. Much of the world is blind to their own biases, need to control, personal sin, hate, etc. and it is separating them from God. If her own husband feared to address it, what is your suggestion for a family friend who wants to remain one?
Although I've messed this up more times than I can count, it seems Jesus maintained a steady posture of "discerning and inviting." He practiced particularity - he saw the individual in their true heart condition and related to them at that level, slowing inviting them into a deeper experience with Him and themselves. The woman at the well, for example, accepted his ever-deepening conversation. The rich young ruler did not. So with prayerful discernment, we might observe whether the shopaholic and her husband are aware of her condition. If they are, we might gently ask if it's something they are willing to explore and go from there. If not, it's probably an indicator they just aren't ready yet to deal with her story, and for the friend to keep it a matter of prayer. Gentle questions asked with permission are a great tool, though even those should be approached with relational wisdom. Sometimes, helping someone become more attuned to their hearts isn't a matter of conversation - it's more of how they experience us over time. I've seen people with various addictive habits begin to gently become more attuned simply by being in relationship with others who are more free. It takes a lot of patience (which isn't my strong suit), though I'm very grateful God does not reveal all of my harmful patterns and distortions at once!
Thank-you. Excellent advice.